Monday, October 29, 2007

Alex Rodriguez: Future Member of the Hall of Compiled Baseball Statistics

This is well-worn territory but hey, A-Rod might be leaving his Yankee Mystique behind so take it away Buster Olney!

He is one of the greatest players in history at compiling statistics, the greatest ever at compiling wealth, and his next employer will have to buy into that.

Compiling statistics. A-Rod's not a great player who gets meaningful baseball hits! Those 156 RBI this year?

SCIENCE FACT: Not a single one helped the Yankees win a single game

And remember how every time he hit one of his 54 home runs he would make a cash register noise? And then like, bring out a table and actually set up one of those old timey adding machines with the crank and put on a plastic visor and smoke a big cigar and throw monopoly money in the air and go on for like 20 minutes so he never rounded the bases or anything? REMEMBER?

He should be more like Ted Williams and lead his team to...what? Ted Williams never won a World Series? Oh.

I...I guess he wasn't that great then. Because GREAT PLAYERS FIND A WAY.

If A-Rod was truly great then he would have found a way to make these teams,

ERA+ AL Rank
2007 Yankees 96 Tied for 10th
2006 Yankees 99 9th
2005 Yankees 98 7th
2004 Yankees 96 9th

more like these teams,

ERA+ AL Rank
1996 Yankees 109 Tied for 3rd
1998 Yankees 117 1st
1999 Yankees 108 2nd
2000 Yankees 107 3rd

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Blogger sabesin2001 said...

it's funny how jeter won a lot when the pitching was good and now has lost a lot when the pitching wasn't good, but he's still a winner in the hearts of new yorkers.

10:16 PM  
Blogger David Y said...

Whose Line Is It?

.176/.176/.176 0 HR, 1 RBI, 3 GDP

It's Jeter's 2007 ALDS!

8:19 AM  
Blogger sabesin2001 said...

he'd probably be better if they played the world series later, since he's Mr. November (Jeter in November: 3/12, 1xbh, 4k)

2:09 AM  
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